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REALEST zodiac sign stuff

  • Aries: self-centred competitive cunts but still sweet
  • Taurus: nice as heck but dont show much emotions and eat a way too much
  • Gemini: smooth lunatic manipulative assholes but geniuses
  • Cancer: dependant, emotionally unstable lullabies and probably the nicest persons you know
  • Leo: most generous and selfish at the same time attention whores
  • Virgo: steady fuckers that probably have an OCD
  • Libra: double-faced childish bitches but they know how to look good tho
  • Scorpio: paranoid psychos that think about dry humping all day long
  • Sagittarius: funny but rude, one night stands big winner
  • Capricorn: cold-hearted motherfuckers without any social skills
  • Aquarius: weird hipsters that always try to sound deep and different but VERY open-minded
  • Pisces: sensible compulsive liars, daydreamers and super gentle but hypocrites

(Source: lolgifs.net, via cannibalkween)

fuckyeahitspcola:

MY ANACONDA DON’T!

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MY ANACONDA DON’T!

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MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NUN UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS HUN!

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(via jonophobias)

(Source: philosalena, via jonophobias)

Anonymous asked: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

madisonelawrence:

portionsforfoxes:

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.

holy shit

Stanford kids man, you guys are ruthless and my heroes

kanrose:

iammakingperfectsense:

insidemymmind:

Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.

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THE JIG IS UP, YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS. WE’RE ONTO YOU.

(via jonophobias)

emilianadarling:

deanobanion:


"Horsemanning, or fake beheading, was a popular way to pose in a photograph in the 1920’s. Sometimes spelled horsemaning, the horsemanning photo fad derives its name from the Headless Horseman, a character from “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

(x)

HUMAN BEING ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SUCH HUGE FUCKING DORKS OKAY.

emilianadarling:

deanobanion:

"Horsemanning, or fake beheading, was a popular way to pose in a photograph in the 1920’s. Sometimes spelled horsemaning, the horsemanning photo fad derives its name from the Headless Horseman, a character from “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

(x)

HUMAN BEING ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SUCH HUGE FUCKING DORKS OKAY.

(via biomorphicgarden)

paranormal-blacktivity:

this is the kind of cake I want for my birthday

paranormal-blacktivity:

this is the kind of cake I want for my birthday

(Source: shawtysdead, via blua)

kurtislikesbutts:

thicccc:

DENIALL

hey this is me wow

drinking-for-two:

I had to do a powerpoint on how to solve overpopulation in countries. My powerpoint consisted of one slide that had this gif in it.

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(via jonophobias)